Pain Can Interfere With Touching

It had been a particularly difficult day coping with the pain of her arthritis. She looked at her husband and wanted to be comforted by him. Realizing this, he reached over to envelop her in his arms and snuggle her but as he did this, she cringed.

There is a contradiction in her action: She wanted to be touched, yet it hurt even more to be touched.

The Power of Touch

Touch Is Important

The touch of someone’s hand, the closeness of an embrace, and the connected feeling of personal contact signify caring and comforting. Feelings of security, safety, and easiness are amplified along with other good feelings evoked by the power of touch.

The act of touching:

* builds closeness
* fosters communication
* nurtures intimacy

Touching gives a person the sense of being cared about and cared for. Being touched or snuggled makes a person psychologically feel worthy and physically feel soothed.

Power of Pets

Not only is the power of touch gotten from human contact but also from pets.

The unconditional love given by a pet to its master is unparalleled. When a cat or dog climbs in bed and presses tightly against his master the message is conveyed that the love is reciprocal. They need you and you need them.

Essential Communication

Dealing With Chronic Pain

Coping with the chronic pain of arthritis can interfere greatly with being touched and snuggled. Though the woman in our example is longing to be comforted by her husband, the reality is her body is wracked with pain from her arthritis and anything touching her will make it worse. Just the light pressure from the touch of a hand is discomforting. Fearing this is what made her cringe. She truly does desire to be held and comforted, yet at the same time reacted with fear to more pain.

Honest Communication

Unless her husband is able to understand her reaction, he is likely to feel rejected. In his mind he must realize why she cringed. He must not feel rebuffed and it is imperative that she communicate the reality of her physical pain. With open communication it is possible to work towards solutions.

Solutions to the Problem

Communication

Communication is the first step toward any solution. Any idea that will impair communication between partners is not a viable solution. It is suggested by some people that separate bedrooms is workable so that both people can have their needed space. Separate bedrooms promotes separateness, not communication.

Being Creative / Adaptation Is Key

A comfortable bed and supportive pillows are very helpful. If the two people differ in opinion on mattress firmness or type of pillow, the workable solution is to compromise. The solution might require you to be creative such as pushing two twin beds together, or a twin and a double bed together. This would allow each person their preference, yet keep the two people together.

Need for Intimacy

People with arthritis have limitations and restricted movements. They are bound by pain and physical discomfort, yet arthritis does not destroy their need for intimacy.

* Communicate your pain level to your partner by rating your pain.
* Explain clearly what you need and what you can give on any given day.
* Do something each day, no matter how big or how small, no matter how long or how short the duration, to feel the soothing power of touch and to feed the bond between you.

Source of information: http://arthritis.about.com/od/sex/a/thepoweroftouch.htm

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How Arthritis Complicates Sexuality

By ian | April 7, 2008

Physical and psychological interference.

How Arthritis Complicates Sex

Living and coping with arthritis can impact a person’s sexuality. There are a variety of problems and difficulties which can arise due to the physical and psychological changes that arthritis causes.

Physical Interference

Several factors can hamper the pleasure of sex including:

* pain
* stiff joints
* limited range of motion
* fatigue

Whatever can be done to alleviate the pain, fatigue, and limitation of arthritis is important to an enjoyable sexual encounter. Many people find that a warm bath, hot shower, or soak in a hot tub can relax the body and eliminate some stiffness.

Medications

Taking medications beforehand also allows for maximum pain relief benefit when most needed.

Dealing With Fatigue

Fatigue can greatly affect energy levels. Fatigue can be especially debilitating when arthritis is actively flaring.

Exercise

Others find that light exercise can loosen up or limber up the body.

Psychological Interference

Psychological problems can interfere in a sexual relationship too. It is not uncommon for a person with arthritis to have a poor self-image at times. As the body becomes distorted from the arthritis, so may the person’s self-image and self-esteem. This can lead to a certain reluctance to share a physical relationship with someone.

Positive Approach

Whatever can be done to enhance ones appearance and create a positive self-image is most helpful.

Dealing With Emotions

The negative emotions depression, and anxiety that a chronic painful condition can produce can truly interfere and needs to be overcome.

Changing the time of day can be beneficial, since some people experience more discomfort at particular times of the day. Also, changing sexual positions can greatly relieve stress on particular joints.

Honest Communication

It is imperative for sexual partners to have good communication. The partners must be able to share their concerns and work out their difficulties together. As the problems are being worked out, this can create a special closeness between the two partners.

Chronic Illness Complicates Relationships

When chronic illness strikes, difficulties develop between partners which are so complex that statistics show that nearly 85% of marriages faced with these challenges eventually fail.

Source of information: http://arthritis.about.com/cs/sex/a/arthsexuality.htm

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